FILTER

   It makes me wonder why stars captivate me after all they refuse to sing to me anymore. Perhaps the burden of my wishes impel them to symphonise me as I fight sleeping peacefully otherwise; without listening to your voice every night.
   But I no more blame the stars for they enticed me insanely when I saw them in your eyes as you passioned photography. In a blaring coffee shop, you talked about art. My mind talked about you. Pretty much the same.
   Though I failed to focus the image precisely, I edged focusing on the lips that spoke about it tempestuously.Perhaps,I lost my focus on the content.What made you think I am disinterested and detached? No, your oblivious gestures were more of craft.
   Our constellations were so white, I got blinded to your lessons on brightness.No, you weren't unattended.Just, the edgy angles of your lust for beaux-art made more of an aperture on my attention.So,excuse me if I say, that you are denied the authority on deciding how incredibly beaut you are.
   But then,I lost track to how and when my bright conscious wishes turned to darkly tinted demands. And now I see your reflection in everything I do and that petrifies my own shadow. My present has become a silhouette where I see a bokeh'ed future while I had a past trailing like stars.Only to be left with minimal chances of getting that home back.I could texture some outlines where I am trying to buy happy in shopping bags and tossing some color in beer bottles.No deep ardor.Only shallow piggy banks.
   I speculate how I fell in love with the darkness that you captured too. For I pictured how late night talks faded to sleep excuses and priorities defocused. Because now, flashes don't fear me anymore for I am more scared of how fickle human nature is and how contrasting emotions invade.But its still beautiful how I felt so light when loving him was dark.
   I wonder how I liked the fade,on pictures.Damn, not on memories and milestones.Because now,I am scared of the dark, the exposures of the dark. And now I wish that fade was just a photographic filter.